Saturday, July 20, 2013

Denial of self

Always in search of obtaining a closer, more fruitful relationship with God, I try to read spiritual books.  There is always a book on the bedside table that has something to do with spirituality - whether it's a biography of a saint or other religious person, a book on prayer or a bible study...something along those lines.  I have been reading "The Lamb's Supper" by Scott Hahn.  It's a great book and you should definitely read it!  He mentions a book called "The Spiritual Combat" by Rev. Scupoli (and others apparently) so I looked it up on Amazon and the Kindle version was $.99! 

I am only to chapter 2 on this one, but something really struck me.  I can read all I want hoping that this act alone will bring me closer to God, but if I don't ever act on those hopes then nothing will ever change.  Just reading isn't going to cut it for me.  I've had these thoughts before and have always decided I would work on how I treat others especially those in my own home, but I also realize that I have to work on self.  Meaning, stop concerning myself with myself :) 

At this same time, I am participating in a 33 day consecration to the Blessed Mother.  The first week has been concentrating on the idea of separating yourself from the material world and I think these prayers and reflections every day have helped me get to this point. 

This morning, I decided that as a challenge to myself today, I would not speak the word "I".  Usually when I use this word, it's because I'm complaining about something I don't like:  "I can't believe how much laundry I have to do today." (used twice in that sentence)... or something I want:  "I wish we had a basement."  I think that both of these sentences are selfish...you may disagree, but I think the constant use of the word "I" in these types of scenarios are spiritually destructive.  Another example I can think of is giving my opinion: "That newscaster is obnoxious."  I am going to really try and live out this challenge every day - my opinions really don't matter (unless I'm asked I guess), nor does it really matter what I don't like or what I want. 

Ok, not trying to get too deep on ya here, but I want you all to know that even adults struggle with spiritual relationships with God and with others.  We all need to work on it.  I hope that the links I include in posts like this will work 10-20 years from now when I know you'll be reading this blog every day!     heehee

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